


Don't Jump

by MissReylo



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissReylo/pseuds/MissReylo
Summary: “I’ve stolen his potato chips, I predict we have like half an hour before he notices so-”The bag with potato chips fell on the ground. It seemed like the world had stopped and Missy’s two hearts started beating faster than ever.





	Don't Jump

“I’ve stolen his potato chips, I predict we have like half an hour before he notices so-”  
The bag with potato chips fell on the ground. It seemed like the world had stopped and Missy’s two hearts started beating faster than ever.   
They were on the roof of a big building on the alien planet they had been staying for two days now. Y/N had gone here, to watch the city while Missy had stolen chips but now Y/N wasn’t looking down any more.  
She was standing on the edge, her arms spread.  
“What are you doing!?” Missy screamed.  
Y/N looked over her shoulder, wobbling dangerously. “It’s over!”  
Instinct wanted Missy to run, to grab Y/N away from the edge of the roof. She knew she was strong enough to grab Y/N, she had carried the younger woman so many times but something told her that Y/N would jump before she was even there to grab her around her waist. She wasn’t fast enough to stop that.  
“You’re not jumping!” Missy said, the wind undoing her bun.   
“I don’t want this! I don’t want it! I can’t live like this any more!” Y/N gasped. A tear trickled down her cheek, her hands shaking. Missy had seen her companion in distress so many times. She had seen her bawling, had seen her begging.   
Y/N was calm now. Deathly calm. And that was terrifying. She had already made her decision. It was over. She had made peace with the fact that soon she wouldn’t breathe any more, she wouldn’t walk any more, she wouldn’t see the stars any more. Soon, she would be dead.  
“Tell me about it,” Missy said, slowly walking a bit.   
“Stay back! I’ll jump!” Y/N screamed.  
“You’ll jump anyway, so that’s an empty threat, Y/N, you know it. I’m not here to do anything. I want you to yell at me. Tell me what’s wrong, now,” Missy said, forcing herself to remain calm, to get angry.  
She didn’t want to admit she struggled breathing when thinking of Y/N being dead.  
Y/N looked away, more tears in her eyes. “I told you! I can’t live like this... with this constant sadness wearing me down. It’s just hopeless. I have good days but I always... always know bad days are coming. It’s just constant waiting until the world crashes down on me again. I am done! I am so done with all of this!”  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Missy asked. She stepped a bit closer, again.  
“Why would I?” Y/N asked, another tear joining the others. “You’ll be gone soon enough, why in God’s name would I tell you just how fucked up I am?”   
“What do you mean?” Missy asked, slowly bringing up her hand.  
“You’ll leave me eventually; they all do!” Y/N yelled.   
Missy didn’t know what to say, so she just brought up her hand even closer to Y/N. Her hand was almost touching Y/N’s now.  
“This won’t help anything, you idiot,” Missy said, “remember what that mother said who was grieving over her son that killed himself? It doesn’t stop it from getting any worse, it just stops the possibility of it ever getting better.”  
“That’s bullshit and you know it! Do you think I didn’t fight? Do you think I just let it win? Do you think I’m just giving up because it’s getting a little rough? I fought so much and now I’m tired, Missy, so tired. I just want some rest, I just want a break from this head,” Y/N screamed.  
“You can’t jump,” Missy said, her hand now brushing Y/N’s, “I’ve still got so much to show you. To tell you.”  
“You don’t mean that!” Y/N said, “you can get another companion. There are loads of humans for you to toy with, you don’t need me. Like you always say, I’m replaceable.”  
“But I want you!”  
Y/N looked at Missy and Missy swallowed when she saw the broken look in her eyes.  
“Why?” Y/N croaked, “why would you want me?”  
“Because I think I’m falling in love with you, you idiot,” Missy admitted, “it’s strange and weird, Y/N, but this is real. I want to hold you, god, I want to kiss you so hard it makes you dizzy, I want to have you. And it’s terrifying. I can’t lose you.”  
Y/N was silent for a long time. And then: “Congratulations, you’ve finally managed to break my heart, Missy! From the moment I saw you I’ve had a crush on you... I wanted nothing more than to hear you say those words but not like this. You’re just saying that because you want me to stop jumping! I hate you.”  
“Why would I stop you from jumping if I didn’t love you? You know me, with most people I would just give them the last push, but not with you,” Missy said, grabbing Y/N’s hand.   
She softly brought the trembling hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss on the cold skin. “Come on, come down here, girl. Let’s talk about this.”  
Y/N looked down but then, holding Missy’s hand so tight that she almost crushed it, she stepped back. Missy pulled her close, arms around her. Y/N collapsed and she started sobbing. Missy pressed a kiss on her head and rubbed her back.  
“Please don’t ever do that again,” she whispered.


End file.
